Sid Roth

SID: Weren’t you concerned about committing suicide that you’d have problems with Allah?

 

ISIK: Yes, but I thought Allah wasn’t pleased with me and he hated me, so there was no way for me to win his approval. I was a failure in my eyes.

 

SID: So the morning before you went to work where you had planned to commit suicide, what was going on inside of your head?

 

ISIK: Well I woke up and I saw my daughter, she was two and half years old, and I heard a voice in my head, anybody can be a better mother. And that same voice was telling me life is not worth living, and I usually do this when enemy is speaking, because we need to recognize the enemy’s voice as separate. And that morning, I was just hearing from the enemy and believing in that lie, and I started, I took her to day care and started planning my suicide.

 

SID: Okay. So you get to work. What happened?

 

ISIK: Well I went to the restroom to cry because my sorrow was so great, and I started having closure with God. And I didn’t know at that time which God I was talking to because I was going to Bible study at that time, at workplace.

 

SID: Where they were Christians, and had a Bible study.

 

ISIK: Yes. So I was just going there to please my boss thinking that I will secure my job.

 

SID: Except, you told me you heard about a woman that you related to and that the approach Jesus took was so different than the approach Allah took. Tell me about that.

 

ISIK: So that was my first Bible study, from John, Chapter 8, the adulteress woman, when they threw her at the feet of Jesus, “What are we going to do with her? According to Moses’ law we need to stone her.” He didn’t condemn her, but he gave her another chance. But according to Sharia law, she had to be stoned to death, and that pierced my heart with Lord Christ there. It was my first Bible study. But coming back to the day of planning my suicide, I was told I could never become a Christian. They were infidels and they were destined for hell. And I wasn’t a good Muslim at that time. I was thinking Allah disowned me, so it would be better for me to just kill myself, and without even thinking the consequences, I just wanted to end my pain. And then I went to work, and I went to the restroom having this closure with God. And I started asking, why do you hate me so much, why have you abandoned me or forsaken me? What have I done so bad? I cleaned my face, went to my seat. My boss called me to his office and he says, “I am going to tell you something I have never done before in my life.” And he said, “I feel in my spirit Jesus knows what you’re about to do and I have to tell you, he’s telling me to tell you, you are not forsaken or abandoned. He has been with you since you were born. When you were molested he was by your side. When you were kicked like a dog on the floor he was by your side. When [they put a] knife on your throat he was by your side. He was interceding for you that one day you will turn to him. And now I want to ask you, would you like to receive him as your Lord and Savior?”

 

SID: Well now, you have the conflict of you’re in trouble with Allah, but this is really going to get you in trouble with Allah. What did you do?

 

ISIK: At that point I was not thinking anything because God was in that room. At first time in my life I experienced the presence of God and he was real. I didn’t understand the Trinity. I had no doctrine, nothing, but I knew Jesus Christ was real and he was hugging me.

 

SID: Do you know something, her situation was impossible.

 

ISIK: That’s right.

 

SID: And guess what happens? Out of the blue a man calls you on the phone and what does he say?

 

ISIK: Well that was after my salvation. I was broke and going through all these trials, and this man calls, and he says, “My name is so and so.” And I could feel authority in his voice, first time in my life, feeling authority. He said, “Sister Isik, we have been praying for you. We have been praying for your salvation. Praise the Lord. And I want you, for the weekend, to come to my house, my wife and I.” He said, “If you come we are going to bless you, but we are going to give you a Bible study about the Holy Spirit.”

 

SID: So you said sure.

 

ISIK: I needed hope. I needed something in my life and I was not going to a spirit-filled church that would believe in so many miracles or anything. But there was this hunger in me and I wanted to believe in what he was saying. I said, “I have no gas in my car. I cannot make five-hour drive to your place.” And then he says, “I know you don’t have that kind of faith, but I’m going to pray over your car right now and you are going to make it to my home.”

 

SID: And?

 

ISIK: And then he continued. He said, “If you get stuck in the middle of the road I promise you I will come pick you up, but I serve a God, I know that you are not going to get stuck.” And I said, “I’m going in my car right now.” I put my daughter, she was almost four years old at that time, I went inside my car and I said, in my heart, “I will drive until this car stops.” And I started driving and I made it five hours to his house.

 

SID: On empty?

 

ISIK: Empty, completely utterly empty.

 

SID: You get into his house. What does he say to you?

 

ISIK: Well at that time, one of my foot was in the church, the other one was in the world, so I didn’t have good Bible training, and I had sin in my life. So as soon as he saw me he fell to the ground and he started praying in tongues, and I never heard tongues in my life before. And those, everything he said came to me without an accent, perfect Turkish, in my mother tongue. And he was confessing my sins to God. He was naming my sins one by one. I was in shock. I was here looking at this. I saw a miracle, [a] man speaking perfect Turkish. And then he got up, and he says, he looked at me in the eye, very sharp, very strong, and he says, “Sister, I don’t know what I said, but you know what I said. You take God seriously.”

 

SID: All right. Now, let me tell you. She takes God so serious that the fire of God hits her. When we come back it not only hit her, she wants to pray for that same fire to come on you. Are you ready?