Sid Roth

Sid: My guest by way of telephone is Nancy Alcorn, I’m speaking to her at her office in Nashville, Tennessee where she heads up Mercy Ministries. In particular we’re talking about her new book called “Mercy for Eating Disorders” because eating disorders are epidemic, things like binge eating, bulimia, and anorexia. It seems to be getting worse by the day, she’s come up with a wonderful program for young woman that are involved in these problems. In the secular arena they’re not even solving it and they’re charging $100,000 and the parents are sacrificially giving money. And the problem is that she has a big waiting list for her program so she’s written a book for those people… first of all Nancy I have to believe that people that are involved as anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, think that they’re stuck with it the rest of their life.

Nancy: Well that’s true and you know the word of God tells us “That in Christ we’re overcomers and we are more than conquerors.” So to believe anything less than that regardless of what the issue is addictions or whatever or even people with problems with pornography and through the power of Christ we can overcome any issue that we’re facing.

Sid: Now for those that are not that aware would you give just a brief definition of anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating.

Nancy: Well anorexia would be the simplistic definition, anorexia is basically when you starve yourself to where just literally your body is just wasting away.

Sid: And society tells us thin is in and so all these young kids see their favorite movie stars and they want to look just like them.

Nancy: That’s absolutely right and the media and advertising industry, movies and television and all of that plays into it. You know Vogue magazine, the fashion industry it all plays into it, even the cosmetic industry.

Sid: And so what is bulimia?

Nancy: Bulimia is when someone actually binge eats and actually just stuffs themselves and regurgitates the food and is able to go back and consume huge amounts of food again and just force vomiting and that type of thing. That’s what bulimia is, it’s when you force yourself to vomit to purge yourself of food so you can binge again.

Sid: Now let’s talk a little bit about you because you went through this. You were always weight conscience when you were younger. One night you were invited to eat at you pastors home.

Nancy: Yes.

Sid: What happened?

Nancy: Well it was when I was in college and it just so caught me off guard because I was totally committed to Christ and loved the Lord with all of my heart. And I was actually over there to clean their home and they invited me to come early and have dinner. And she fixed my favorite meal which was fried chicken and biscuits and gravy and green beans and all of that. And so I was really enjoying that and after they had a pastors meeting that they had to go to. So I was going to clean their house for them and clean up the dishes and everything. And so I started in on that process and I just felt really nauseated. So I remember trying to lay down for a few minutes and thinking “I’ve got to get over this nausea because I basically had eaten too much, I think.” And so I was trying to get over the nausea and I realized I’ve got to clean this house. And part of what ties in with eating disorders is perfection and I wanted to please, and people pleasing. I wanted to please them, I wanted the house to look perfect, I wanted the dishes to be done and I wanted it all to be done. So I thought “How am I going to get this done if I’m nauseated.” So I went into the bathroom and I thought and you know I was in that state if I were to just throw-up a little bit I’d feel better. And the process of just hanging over the toilet the thought came to my mind that I could just throw-up and then I could just get the house finished. And that’s basically what I did because I wanted…

Sid: No, let me interrupt you a minute, I don’t think the thought came into your mind, I think it was an enemy of yours that whispered that in your ear.

Nancy: Well it was.

Sid: It was a demon.

Nancy: It was definitely a demon, there’s no question. And the thing that I know was demonic about it is the thing that happened next, because that demon suggested you do the thing then you can clean the house. And once I did it then that demon said “You can do this anytime you want to and you can eat as much as you want to and for as long as you want to.” And I received that not recognizing that it was a demonic power speaking to me. I received that thought into myself and I conceived it in my heart at that point and it became a part of my life. That demonic power gained entry at that point though my choice, the suggestion was made through a demonic voice and I acted on that demonic voice. And because of that a stronghold developed and over the next 5 years of my life I struggled with shame and guilt and I hid.

Sid: How often were you purging the food?

Nancy: Because of my love for Christ I would go sometimes… I wasn’t like some people, some people use no only purge but they also use laxatives to purge. Some girls up to 150 laxatives a day where they even had to have surgery, part of their colon removed, it’s unbelievable. I never got into that part of it but because I loved the Lord I would go sometimes as long as 4 or 5 days or a week. It wasn’t an everyday occurrence for me, but there was a times that it was more frequent than others. But because I was trying and calling on the Name of the Lord and people didn’t talk about eating disorders back then and so I didn’t really understand what happened to me and I did not go to anybody for help I just kept going back to God. If I had a place like Mercy or if I had a book like the “Mercy for Eating Disorders” and people were talking about it back then like they are now then I could have gotten help.

Sid: What was the root of your problem because you mentioned “You got to deal with the root?”

Nancy: Well I think in my case the root of the problem was two-fold. I had a very volatile childhood growing up and some untimely deaths, one being my sister and my family through a very tragic set of circumstances. And there was just a lot of problems in my family growing up, and because of the deaths that were occurring I felt like that things were out of control a lot. So this is something that I felt like I could control, so I think that control was definitely an issue. And I also think that perfection was an issue, that I didn’t feel good about myself. I thought that if I had a really perfect figure and body that I would feel better about myself and people would respond to me because I look good.

Sid: Nancy in your book you state you went through 5 years of hell on earth. How were you set free?

Nancy: Well the bottom line is I just realized that I really do have a choice even though it didn’t seem like I did. And that through Christ I could overcome and I finally just made a decision. It was actually one New Year’s Eve that I just said “Lord… (I stayed at home and I prayed). I just said “Lord I will not do this anymore, I commit to you throughout the power that only you can give me I choose not to do this anymore, and I don’t care if I weigh 300 pounds.” And the interesting thing about it is that I just felt the Spirit of God just come to me.” And I believe at that moment that I received deliverance through calling upon the Name that is above every name. And from that point on I started exercising maybe 2 or 3 times a week, not excessively just about 3 times a week I would walk a couple of miles a day. You know that in a year’s time that I dropped from a size 10 to a size 4. And I have been a size 4 for the last 20 years, and what I was trying to accomplish by my own flesh or the last 25 years actually. What I was trying to accomplish by my own flesh I actually received from the Lord when I just chose the path of obedience.  

Sid: So there are 2 keys that I’m hearing, one is a choice. You either want to choose to relay completely on God, or you want to do such things as forcing yourself to vomit and many take their lives. And the other thing that was a key was you found a root cause in yourself and you could renew your mind in that area. You have a whole chapter in your book on these root causes. It’s very very important, I wonder if you could tell us some of them.

Nancy: Well I think that 2 of my root causes were definitely perfectionism and control. And that’s definitely for example when people have been abused in their childhood. That’s something they definitely can’t control and so this is something they can control. And it’s like “I’m going to control what goes in my body, what goes out. And I’m not going to let anyone hurt me again, that kind of stuff.” A distorted body image and then denial, I’ve actually stood with a girl that looked at herself in a mirror with very little clothing on and she was nothing more than a skeleton with skin on. She was 5’9 and weighed like about 60 pounds. And I said “Tell me what you see when you look in the mirror?” And she said “I see fat.” And it just shocked me and I said “Can I tell you what I the rest of us see when we look at you?” And it shocked her to hear that.

Sid: It shocks me to hear this story.

Nancy: Well it’s like a demonic distortion. It’s like Satan distorts what that young girl sees when she looks at herself. And that’s one of the root causes is a distorted body image and then a denial. And then also parents that may use food as a reward or punishment that a young person can grow up and tie that in with performance and perfectionism…

Sid: Now you’re hitting now, you’re getting a little too close to home right now Nancy. Because if you’re Jewish you know eat, I love you. That’s the definition of love. (Laughing)

Nancy: (Laughing) I think us Christians have that down too with all of our potlucks and everything. You know I really do and you know Jesus set an example he had the last supper with His disciples. And I do think that the key is that the Lord wants us to enjoy all things but He wants us to have food without food having us. And anything that brings us into bondage it’s not good, and so Satan he would have never gotten me after I committed my life to Christ I would have never chosen to get addicted to alcohol or drugs or anything like that. So he had to be sneakier with me and so this is the way that the enemy snuck up on me and got me in bondage to something that was the greatest bondage that I’ve ever experienced.

Sid: Nancy we’re out of time.