Sid Roth

Sid: Hello. Sid Roth here. Welcome to my world where it’s naturally supernatural. Speaking of supernatural, I heard music the other day in my car and it, I believe that when you hear this in a little while that you are going to experience healing deliverance like you’ve never heard before. There’s something so supernatural about it. Then I found out the artist, I’d actually never heard of him, but I had heard of the movie “Fireproof”, and it was the theme music from “Fireproof”. And the song, “While I’m Waiting,” you’re probably familiar with that song, John Waller writes music that breaks curses and releases blessings. It’s so wonderful, it’s so supernatural. But I’d like you to experience “While I’m Waiting.”

John: I’m waiting, I’m waiting on you Lord. I am peaceful. I’m waiting on you Lord. Though it’s not easy, no, but faithfully I will wait. Yes, I will wait. And I will move ahead bold and confident taking every step in obedience. While I’m waiting, I will serve you. While I’m waiting, I will worship. While I’m waiting, I will not face reverting the race even while I’m waiting.

Sid: You know, the song, “While I’m Waiting”, it was from the number one independent movie called “Fireproof”. Many of you have seen that movie. And the song, “While I’m Waiting”, it’s really amazing. It’s got a totally different meaning to John Waller. But John, it’s hard to believe, but you got really upset over a girlfriend. You’re just, what, 12 years of age.

John: Twelve years old.

Sid: You get upset. You get so upset that your mother takes you to a doctor. Why?

John: Well you know, there’s history and depression in my family. My grandmother always suffered from depression, my mother. You know, all my life my mother suffered from that. And so when she saw me get upset about losing this first girlfriend that lasted three weeks long, she just turned to my dad and she said, “I can tell he’s got it. He’s got it.” She just thought, hey, you know, he’s showing signs of depression.

Sid: So they take you to the doctor.

John: Take me to the doctor. He spends about 30 or 40 minutes with me and interviews me, a 12-year-old kid, and within a half an hour he diagnoses me as, back then, we called it manic depression. It’s called bipolar disorder today.

Sid: So as young kid, you were on medicine. What was your life like?

John: Well that day he wrote me a prescription and for the next 20 years of my life, I was on every kind of medication that pharmaceutical companies put out, just to try to get it under control.

Sid: Did you ever believe that you would be free?

John: You know, for most of that 20 years I did not believe it. I had learned to accept it. In fact, you know, it’s become such a way of the world. You know, so many people suffer from depression. And so I just figured it was something I was going to have to live with, a crutch, something God would use in my life as a testimony.

Sid: But you know, what you have described is a classic definition of a curse.

John: Absolutely.

Sid: I believe when his mother said, “He’s got it,” that’s when that happened. And for 20 years, he went through this suffering of depression not feeling or even believing that he’d ever be free. At age 23, John got married. But you still suffered with depression.

John: My poor wife. You know, she put up with so much, you know, me sleeping all the time, me going up and down. You know, when I would be on a medic she never knew what I was going to go out and buy. When I was on a low, she never knew when I was going to come out of it. But the Lord knew what He was doing when he gave me my sweet wife, Josie, because she endured that for so many years of our marriage.

Sid: And then things even got worse. You had a record deal. You finally got it.

John: Well almost. I came close. The record deal was, to me, the pinnacle of success. If I could just achieve that, you know, maybe I would be happy then. So almost got it, but then at the last minute it all fell apart. And that’s when I went to my very lowest point in my life.

Sid: Let’s go to a clip by his wife and find out exactly what he was like.

Josie: Well when John and I got married, with his depression, he was on four different types of medication and the emotional rollercoaster, he was up and down all the time. He slept all the time. He took care of our two children because I went to school full time and was working, as well. And I would come home and, you know, the kids weren’t fed. The diapers weren’t changed. It was just like he was a zombie, almost, walking around. You know, he couldn’t focus on anything. It was very difficult and unpeaceful in our home.